Silent Tea Parties
by demando
Summary: A story about Hanako's first days at Yamaku, and how she met Lilly
1. Blackout

All credit for Katawa Shoujo goes to 4 LEAF STUDIOS. Read, review and enjoy.

Yamaku.

A strange word. A foreign, alien one. One that you don't want to be in the same room with. A place tucked withing the hills and mountains of Japan, out of sight and out of touch.

A world where normal is a strange thing to consider, and what appears to be normal is little more than a façade. In it, the ones whom society would rather not see, the ones whom "normals" would rather smear with invisible paint, to make them vanish, for the mere purpose of forgetting of their own dear vulnerability, find a home.

And while each student tries to keep an appearance of normality, people in the close-by town know. The uniform inveriably draws attention. A tag, an unspoken badge for "Cripple walking. Make way".

Here, seasons drift apart, and each graduation gives the world a new reminder of what it desperately wants to ignore. Of what it may not be able to deny, but it tries to imagine far away, burried in the autumn leaves.

**Chapter 1: Blackout**

Small, shuffled voices could be heard from the occupied classes. It was a bit over 10 AM, and most students were in their classes.

Hanako stood in front of class 3-3, gripping her school bag. She extended her hand to tap on the door, but stopped a few centimeters short. She couldn't. Even though it was her choice to come here, she couldn't bare herself to do it. She stood in the middle of the hall, looking emptily into space. She was afraid. Not of the school, which was but a pile of bricks and mortar. She feared what lay beyond the doors. The eyes that would stare at her, that would innevitably point at her appearance.

She heard the door open, and a man, most likely in his fourties, stood before her. Hanako, making her visibly twitch. The teacher looked at her, scanning her from head to toe. Hanako's grip on her bag became so severe, her knuckles were close to snapping.

"You're miss Ikezawa, I assume?" asked the teacher.

Hanako gave no reply, merely nodding quickly. The empty hall made her encounter all the more fearful.

"Good to hear that. I'm Akio Mutou, your science and homeroom teacher. I've got your papers from Tamyia orphanage, so you're ready to go."

He handed her a paper.

"This is your timetable, and my phone number, in case you need it. Now, do you want to present yourself to the class, or should I do that for you?"

Hanako opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Only a small sigh, followed by a barely audible "no".

"Excuse me?" asked Mutou.

"I…I s-said no." replied Hanako in a stammer.

Mutou nodded and opened the door, pointing to Hanako to enter. The girl took one step, then froze. Her feet felt like lead, stuck to the floor. After a few awkward moments, Mutou placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle push inside. Hanako barely reacted, her breathing clearly quickening.

The teacher sighed, and entered himself, before beckoning Hanako to enter. By now, several class members were staring at the girl who seemed frozen in the door frame. Sixteen pairs of eyes looked at her. Hanako felt like a frod pinned on a board, waiting the scalpel of the disectionist. From her position, she saw a pink haired girl, signing something to her deskmate, a short haired girl with glasses. Was she talking about her? Some of the students were now whispering among themselves. Bits and pieces of information: _how weird…what's wrong with her?...she's just standing there…_were reaching her ears.Hanako's eyes began to roll back, as she fell her limbs go numb. The bitter taste of bile reached her tongue.

Mutou coughet loudly, drawing the attention of the class from the now petrified Hanako.

"Everyone, this is Hanako Ikezawa. I trust you'll make her feel welcomed, and act around her as you would with a friend. I'm sure she can find her place among you, if you open yourself to her."

The teacher waved to Hanako to enter. The girl took one step, then stood still again. The eyes. The eyes of the class seemed to pierce her like daggers. The hushed talks of the class became farther and farther, until her head became full with only static noise. Her face became flushed, then the pink tinge began to vanish under a cover of white.

Feeling the embarasement, Mutou moved forward, taking Hanako's hand. Feeling her scarred hand in Mutou's palm was the last straw. Blackness hit her like a lightning bolt, and she felt the ground under her vanish. The last sounds reaching her were _shoot…nurse…quick._

**0000**

Hanako opened her eyes. The room smelled of medication, and the light seemed artificial. Moments later, the reality of what had happened sank in. She felt embarassed. And most of all shocked. It was the school she wanted to come to. And she wasn't even unable to enter her own class. The feeling of being a rag doll flowed into her like a ghost.

"Glad to see you're awake."

She turned, seeing a man in a doctor's coat. He was clearly younger than Mutou, and his blue hair shielded a broad smile.

"You did gave us a shock back there. Thankfuly, Mutou rushed you here. There are no medications that you need to take, so you're pretty much ready to leave."

Hanako's hands covered her face, her head sagging. She wanted to sob. To collapse and cry.

"Hey, it's okay", smiled the nurse. "There's nothing to be embarassed about. I mean, there's a girl in Mutou's class who fell asleep for two days. Right while he was giving a lecture on photons if I remember right."

The joke got no reaction from Hanako. She just stood motionless, face burried in her palms.

"Tell you what" added the nurse in a sly tone. "You can have the rest of the day of. Your things have been taken to the girl's dorm, so you can go there. Just…take it easy for now. The dayrooms are neat. You've got TV, a library, even board games. You'll find your place here."

The girl gave no reply. Her palms were now by her sides, revealing her face. The nurse looked at her, not sure where to begin. The pain of the mind was harder to deal with than any scar in the body. Hanako felt his eyes on her, and covered her scarred side with her palm.

"P-please…don't look at me."

The nurse turned his back, out of modesty. Hanako took this opportunity to pick up her bag and leave, staying close to the walls.

**0000**

The girl's dormitory was clearly bigger than her formar orphanage. The two floor building, much like the rest of the school had an antique feel to it. Hanako took a deep breath. The sooner she would be in her room, the better. She looked at the key in her palm. No more doubts were now in her mind. The orphanage was behind. Yamaku was ahead.

She entered the building, and climbed the stairs to the first floor. It was empty, except for the day room. The girl carefully moved ahead, and peeked inside.

On the floor there were spread several tubes of paint and brushes. A canvas was set up, and a short haired girl was painting on it. What shocked Hanako was that the girl was holding the brush between her toes, due to the lack of arms. The artist noticed her, and stood up. The two girls looked at eachother for a short moment.

"Umm…hy there. I'm Rin Tezuka. I'd shake hands with you, but keep your shoes on. I think people would find it weird if you would start taking of your clothes in front of me."

Hanako was at a loss of words. The girl in front of her was stranger than any person she had meet at the orphanage.

"…"

Rin rocked on her heels.

"Nothing? Guess we have another mute here. Hope you're not like that Hakamichi girl. She's got balls of steel. Or she would have them, providing she had a schlong to go with it."

"I...I'm not…" began Hanako.

"So you can speak. Then there must be something else wrong with you."

She approached Hanako, and her eyes caught sight of her scarred face. Her eyes widenned, as did Hanako's, but for other reasons. A cold chill ran down her spine, as she fell the world around her narrow down, until it looked like the barrel of a gun. Rin's stump reached up, pushing in part the hair that covered Hanako's scarred face. Hanako's lips were slightly opened, a small trickle of saliva forming on the right side.

"Cool. What a great idea for a new painting. I'll call it…_Lines in the face. _No, even better, _The two faces of Yamaku._ Just come and stay over there, until I…

Rin turned, only to realise she was talking to herself. The only sound that reached her was the sound of a door slamming.

**0000**

The orange sunset was barely vissible though the drawn curtains. Hanako stood on her bed, her forehead touching her knees. She was silent. Unlike the nights when she would stay awake, afraid that someone would come and play a prank on her. So many children had done that to her. But now, she had the room to herself. The door was locked.

She was safe.


	2. Familiar Unfamiliarity

All credit for Katawa Shoujo goes to 4 LEAF STUDIOS. Special thanks _to __**The**__** Lonely Blitz**_**, **_**Yuzuru's-Angel**__, _and_**jammiexdodger**_**.**

**0000**

_The smell of burning cloth, mixed with the ghastly sensation of roasted flesh filled Hanako's nostrils. Her vision was colored into a bright shade of orange. The same color shared by the sunsets she had seen so many times. Only the sunsets never hurt her. The sunsets never burned._

_She felt the skin on her right arm crackle and snap. Her fingers twitch, scratching the ground like the legs of a fly impaled by a needle. She struck the floor, trying to extinguish the fire that had engulfed her sleeve. Her mouth opened in a shriek, followed by a wave of hot air that covered her lungs like a cloud. _

"_Oka-sam!" wailed the eight-year old, thrashing on the blackened floor._

_She felt arms around her. Her body was all too familiar. The woman's body felt heavy, and her breathing was just as heavy as her own. She had taken off her jacket, and was now trying to extinguish Hanako's burning sleeve, with little success. _

"_Hanako, please hold on!" shouted the woman._

_The two slowly crawled on the floor, with Hanako on the bottom, her mother crawling on all fours on top of her. The door of the house was barely visible through the fire. The burning on the sleeve had been extinguished, revealing the charred skin beneath. Hanako whimpered, as her arm brushed against the floor. She dared not look up at her mother. The fear of what she might see was too much._

_A loud crack was heard, and before either of them could react, a burning wooden beam fell on them. Hanako's mouth opened in shock and surprise, as her mother was transfixed on top of her, face barely inches from her own. For a few brief seconds, their eyes were connected, wide and clear. Hanako said nothing. She was too hurt and shocked to speak. Her mother rested on her elbows, close to collapse under the weight. Her mouth closed to Hanako, before quickly touching her cheek. _

"_Ha-chan, I…love…"_

_A second crack put a full stop to her sentence. A section of the burning beam snapped, striking her face with full force. Hanako's vision became one sea of white, before all things vanished._

**Chapter 2: Familiar Unfamiliarity**

Hanako opened her eyes, but remained silent. The dream was now all too familiar. She felt no need to scream, to cry or to pity herself. The first few weeks she had spend in the hospital, this dream had been a daily occurrence. But at this point, it was little more than a trip down memory lane. A painful, hot, and dreadful trip into hell.

She turned to the clock next to the bed. 5:34 AM. Over two hours until school starts. Hanako's mind was torn between staying in bed all day, and going to class. The fear of fainting again made the choice all but clear.

Still, she decided to do the opposite. After all, it was her own choice to come here. And no matter what she would do, people would look at her.

Remaining on her back, the ceiling was just as black as the first night in the orphanage. She got no sleep that night. The ceiling was all but strange. This was no different. A strange canvas under which she slept.

Another unfamiliar ceiling.

**0000**

Before Mutou could open his mouth to start the role call, the door of the class opened. Sixteen pairs of eyes turned, pinning Hanako down. The girl froze for a moment, but before the teacher could move, she stepped into the class. She made her way though the desks, stopping short of the teacher's desk. She still kept her back to the class.

"Um…Miss Ikezawa, can you take a seat there?"

Mutou pointed to the only empty seat. Hanako nodded and turned, walking to her desk. She sat, careful to draw as little attention to herself as possible. She kept her face low, even as she took out her books.

"Hope you have a good time in our class. And if you need help, ask Miss Hakimichi. She'll deal with you." Added Mutou.

He pointed to one of the girls in the front row. She turned to Hanako, scanning her from beneath her glasses. Hanako felt nervous once again, but she restrained any outward sign of distress. _Not this time. Not again!_

The class progressed casually, and without any incidents. Mutou's voice sounded like a steady line of abstract and unconnected dots on a string, so much so that the meaning was lost to her. Hanako peeked shyly, and noticed one of the girls in the front seats sound asleep. The girl Mutou had pointed to earlier was busily taking notes, sometimes signing away to her partner, a girl whose pink hair was arranged in a strange drill shape. _How much time does she have to spend each morning on those? _Pondered Hanako, as her pen tried to keep track of the teacher's words.

The lunch bell put a most merciful end to the lecture. As the class packed up their things to head to the cafeteria, Hanako decided it would be better to let the class empty first. As she packed up, the pink haired girl's palms struck Hanako's desk with the force of a freight train. Hanako froze in place, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

"Hey there new girl."

Hanako barely mustered a simple "h…hello". The other girl laughed aloud.

"Bit of a hermit I see. No probe, Mutou's class has such a wide variety of people; you'll fit in just fine. I'm Shiina Mikado, but everyone calls me Misha. This is Shizune, but if she's your friend, just calls her Shiichan. She's our class rep, and Student Council president."

The blue haired girl gave a quick nod in Hanako's direction, before quickly signing to Misha. The dark haired girl gently nodded in reply, but said nothing.

"Guess you're a quiet one. Shiichan's deaf and mute, so if you want to talk to her, ask me first. Or, you can take sign language lessons."

"I…think I'll talk to you…"

Misha grinned, crossing her chest.

"Atta girl. So, any questions?"

Hanako gave no reply. Misha rubbed her chin, and then drew closer to Hanako, staring right into her face. The other girl twitched, quickly covering her right side of her face.

"Hey, chill, you're too stressed. How about we go and grab some lunch. We may be isolated up here, but the food is to die for."

"I...I'm not hungry." Replied Hanako, still covering her face.

"Huh? You're thin already. You're on a diet or something?"

"N…no! I'm not…"

"Hey, it's all in good fun." Laughed Misha. "So, if you're not interested in eating, where do you want to go? Class rooms close during lunch time.

Hanako slowly raised her head. A small blush lit her face.

"L…br…y"

"'Scuse me?" asked Misha.

"Is…is there a library?" said Hanako, slightly with force.

"Um…yeah, sure. On the second floor. Just go out, then up the stairs on the left."

Hanako sat up quietly, taking her bag in her hand. She quickly made her way out the door, almost knocking Mutou's papers off his desk.

**0000**

Hanako's eyes scanned the library. It was far bigger than anything she had at the orphanage. Many of the tables had CD players on them, each with a pair of headphones. Hanako assumed they were for audio books. Along with the wooden chair tables, several armchairs and beanbag seats were scattered across the reading room. The hall was fairy empty, with the exception of maybe 14 students, some of which were making their way to the exit. Hanako backed against the wall, keeping her face hid until they passed.

With small steps, the girl made her way to the counter.

"E…excuse me." said Hanako.

Her voice sounded hush, even in the quiet library. The girl heard a shuffling sound, and saw a large stack of papers rising from under the counter. They fell on the surface with a thud, and a female form peeked from behind it. She looked like 20, with medium length brown hair.

"Sorry for the mess, but things in the fiction section are pretty messy."

"Do…you need any help?" inquired Hanako.

"What? No, I, I mean, no, its fine." Rushed the young woman in a nervous tone.

Hanako gripped her school bag tightly, before mustering the courage to speak.

"Can…I borrow some books?"

"No problem just let me see your card."

Hanako realized with embarrassment that she didn't have one. The orphanage card she used before had been revoked.

"I…don't have one."

"Oh, so you're new here. Just a minute."

She dashed behind her counter, frantically searching through the stack of papers until she found what she needed. She handed Hanako a registration paper.

"Here, fill these out. It's going to take four days for the card to be finished."

"I...I'll wait" said the girl, taking a polite bow.

The librarian smiled. "Well, you do look like the avid reader. If you need, I can keep some of the books aside. Just tell me what you like."

Hanako stood silent, and then spoke in a low voice, as if the reading room was still full of people.

"A…book on chess."

"Hm, that's certainly rare. Yeah, we do have some. I can keep aside two of them. Just tell me your name."

"Hanako…Ikezawa."

"And I'm Yuuko." Answered the librarian, extending her hand.

After a brief moment, Hanako extended her arm, but before they made contact, she quickly covered her visible scar with her other palm. Yuuko looked puzzled, before her eyes caught sight of Hanako's face. She spoke no words, but her face said it all. Hanako slowly broke the handshake, but resisted the urge to cover her face. She just stood, trying to keep a grip on her nerves.

"O…kay. I'll see you in four days then." Said Yuuko, trying to break the awkward silence.

She returned to her papers, leaving Hanako standing. The girl slowly released the grip on her scarred arm, and moved towards the exit, her school bag swinging gently by her side.

**0000**

The girl's dormitory was still fairy empty. Afternoons were generally dedicated to auxiliary activities. On her way, Hanako had seen several students on the race track. On the green of the park, a small musical band, consisting of blind students was practicing.

Hanako pushed the front door open, carefully searching for any student that might cross her path. She dashed up the stairs, and went past the common room.

Just like before, the armless girl was painting. Hanako was amazed by how dexterous her feet were. Each stroke was precise, and confident. She gently entered the room, looking past Rin's shoulder. The picture was well into the abstract. It showed five circles, each with a slender, almost putty figurine placed on it in a running motion. Similar figures adorned the edges.

"You like this stuff?" asked Rin, turning her head.

"If…I could know what it's supposed to be."

Rin grinned, and then got up. She walked next to Hanako, and evaluated her work.

"I call it…_The Running Girl. _It's a vision. Nay, a dream into the wind and into the gym clothes of my friend."

"H…what?" asked Hanako.

"Sorry, that's the burrito I had for lunch talking. Anyways, how'd you spend your first day? Any sexual predator stalked you yet?"

Hanako's face exploded into a blush, and her hands dropped the bag.

"W…wha…"

"Hey, just saying. I mean, you look nice and all."

"D…do you have to talk like that?" asked Hanako.

"Like what?"

"Like…weird."

"Well, I'm weird, and I like." Replied Rin.

"Like…what?"

"Art, duh. That and collecting weird cases. I mean, yours and mine are obvious, but there are some really weird ones. Some I can't even spell. Heck, even the nurse can't help me with some of them."

Hanako stood shocked by how frank Rin could talk about her own condition. Even here, she felt like she was the only one who still felt outcaste.

"He talks to you about what's wrong with people?" asked Hanako, trying to dodge the subject.

"Yeah, sometimes. He even has an extensive photo database of these cases. Some…really juicy."

Hanako decided it would be best no to ask what that meant.

"So…how long have you been painting?"

"About four years. My first work was a divine gift, send from above."

"How so."

Rin raised her left stump.

"Got it stuck in a paint can. I wiggled it so hard to get it loose, that it sprayed on mom's clean sheet.

Hanako's lips began to move. Gently parting, but not in fear. A gentle giggle at first, before she burst in laughter. It was a completely new sensation. And it felt good. And for a lack of a better word, she could only describe it as…_fun._

Rin had no reaction. She just turned to the door.

"Excuse me, I need some help with a problem."

"Can…I help?" asked Hanako, in a tone that was still full of joy.

"Not really, I need to find someone for this. It's a bit messy."

"Need a hand with the paint?"

Rin's lips were one straight line.

"Look Hanako, it's not that. I have to poop, and I need some help with that. But I don't think our friendship is yet on the level where I would allow you to stick your fingers in my ass crack, even if you offered to."

She left the room, heading for the stairs leading to the upper floor. Hanako remained behind, bewildered, amused, and confused. Only one word was now in the board of her mind: _friendship._

**0000**

Hanako's eyes drifted to the ceiling that was now one day old in her memory. Empty and plain. Just like her. With her mind still on the events of the day which had passed, she decided that it was a good start.

She looked at the clock. 11:10 PM. Closing her eyes, she sighed.

She had to go to sleep.

Her nightmares waited.


	3. The world in a page

All credit goes to 4 LEAF STUDIOS. Special thanks to all who read my works and have reviewed.

**3 days later.**

**0000**

Hanako's mornings were always the same. She had made a habit of waking up before everybody. Not because she was the early bird type, but because she had to. Needing to use the showers meant undressing, and she wanted to get it over with before any of the other students might wake up.

The bathrooms were clearly arranged differently from those of other schools. Each one had two shower stalls, a bathtub, and two sinks. Hanako opened the door, peeking inside through the narrow opening. No one in sight. She pushed the door open, and made her way to one of the shower stalls.

Deciding it would be best to enter before someone walked in on her, she got in fully dressed, holding in her hand a plastic bag containing a bottle of body shampoo. She quickly striped, and placed her nightgown in the bag.

The water felt surprisingly refreshing on her body. Or at least on the part of her body that could still feel it. Squeezing the tube in her palm, she began to rub her body with the dark blue shampoo. Gently, but once she reached her scarred arm, she felt a gulp in her stomach. The feeling of having to wash that part of her was appalling, even if there was no one around to see her. With shaky strokes, she washed her arm, and reached in the back.

She heard the door of the stall next to her open, and she dropped the shampoo tube on the floor. A sudden sense of urgency rushed into her. _Get out! Get out! Finish what you need to do and get out!_

She frantically picked up the shampoo, and began to scrub her body. In his haste, she felt her nails scratching the skin. But she didn't care. All that mattered was to get out before the person in the next stall could see her.

She finished her back, and started working on her chest. The girl in the next stall was humming a song, only slightly muffled by the sound of running water. Hanako started washing her hair, when a new sound reached her. A thud, a distinctive sound of a body hitting the floor. Hanako froze.

"A…are you okay?" she asked, tapping twice on the plastic wall.

No reply came. Hanako waited for about three minutes, until she decided it was okay to open the door. Stepping out, still in her pajamas, she looked at the stall next to her. She asked again, but no reply came.

Gulping, she mustered the courage to pull the shower curtain aside.

And she froze on the spot.

On the floor was a girl, only slightly shorter than she was. Her short blue hair was still wet, and had traces of shampoo in it. Her head rested on one of the plastic walls, and she still held the showerhead in her hand. Her legs were stretched, revealing her nude form. Hanako's mind processed the sight before her, and decided to hand the action over to the lungs.

Her scream echoed in the hallway.

Though petrified in fright, she managed to hear the sound of a door opening, followed by frantic footsteps.

"Hey, what on earth are you screaming about so early in the morning?"

She turned, seeing a tall, tan skinned girl, wearing her PE clothes. She recognized her from class, though her name was unfamiliar. Her eyes got a quick glance at the bandages that covered the stump that was her left hand.

"Some pervert walked in on ya?" asked the girl.

Hanako just pointed to the collapsed girl, without a word. The tan girl looked past her shoulder, and quickly pushed Hanako out of the way.

"Oh Su, you sure can pick the right place to dose off."

Hanako looked puzzled, as the girl turned off the water.

"Well don't just stand there, hand me that towel." She exclaimed. "Or do you like staring at naked girls?"

Hanako's face exploded in a blush, and she handed the desired object to the one-armed girl. She wrapped the towel around her with surprising dexterity, considering her missing hand. Picking the collapsed girl in her arms, she walked out the door without another word.

**Chapter 3: The world in a page**

By the time Hanako had reached her class, Mutou was already doing the morning role call. The teacher allowed her to enter without a word. Not that she felt the need to talk to anyone. Making her way to her own desk in the back, Hanako caught sight of two empty chairs. The girl with the missing arm wasn't present.

Mutou closed his notepad, and got up from his seat, when the door opened for a second time. Hanako looked, and saw the one-armed girl walk inside.

"Miura, any idea where Suzuki happens to be?"

"Yeah, she sort of…dosed off in the shower. I took her to her room."

Mutou nodded, and motioned to the class to form groups. Most of the students sat in the same groups they had been all the times they had to do such exercises. Hanako remained in her place. The teacher placed her worksheets before her, and walked back to his desk.

Hanako looked down at the papers, but before deciding what she wanted to start first, she noticed a female form towering before her. Looking up, she noticed the pink-haired girl. Her wide grin made all of Hanako's morning angst feel that much worst.

"Hello…Misha."

"Great, you remembered my name." laughed the girl, crossing her chest. "And just for the record, don't take my name as Russian."

Hanako gave no reply to the joke. Looking down at her papers, she prayed that the girl would return to her desk.

"Come on, Hanako. You're in our group today."

Misha's statement was met by silence. Hanako still looked down, taping the papers with her index finger. Misha frowned slightly.

"Hey, you don't want to hunker back, do you? Come on, Shiichan wants to know you better?"

"It's okay…I'm fine here." said Hanako, her voice giving a strange cadence to the class.

Misha's palms struck Hanako's desk, making her twitch.

"You know I don't take no for an answer. Come on, group work is so much more fun than wallowing in self pity."

Hanako felt like an invisible hand had just punched her in the stomach. Misha's arm reached out, and grabbed Hanako's wrist. The girl's face took an even deeper shade of pale, as her other hand was placed over Misha's arm. Her eyes were now wide, and her shoulders were visibly shaking.

"H…hey, cut it." snapped Misha.

Hanako's fingernails sank into Misha's wrist, forcing a sharp gasp to escape her lips. Hanako's mind began to spin, as the other students began to stare at her.

Mutou's hand gently rested on Misha's shoulder, and it seemed like that was enough to snap Hanako out of it.

"Thank you, Mikado; you can go to your seat now."

"S…sure teach." She stammered, returning next to Shizune. Three puncture marks were clearly visible in her skin. Hanako gulped, looking at Mutou with fearful eyes.

"You can work alone if you want."

He returned to his desk without another word. Hanako looked at her fingers. It wasn't anything new. During the time she had spent in hospital, the doctors had to wrap her fingers in bandages to prevent her from scratching her burned flesh. Her nails had never been too long, since she felt no need to paint them.

She sneaked a peak at Misha. What sort of impression did she make? It seemed like wherever she went, fear would follow her. Just like the orphanage, just like school, she was going to be alone.

**0000**

Lunch break came most mercifully, reliving Hanako of the classroom. Picking up her bag, she dashed out of the room, abandoning her worksheets on the desk. She had only one thing in mind at the moment: to go to the library, and get her card.

She walked to the counter, looking for the librarian.

"H…hello?"

Immediately, the sound of something hitting the wood under the counter reached Hanako. Yuuko popped up, rubbing a red sore right above her left brow.

"Sorry, sorry, I just dropped a pencil."

The face, the gestures. Hanako just couldn't restrain herself. She covered her mouth, desperate to restrain her laughter.

Yuuko finished straightening her hair, and turned to the student before her.

"You're Hanako, right?" she asked, searching in a pile of laminated cards.

"Right." Confirmed Hanako, still with a smile on her face.

Yuuko returned from the table she was working at, and handed Hanako her ID card, and two relatively short books.

"Here you go. We have some other books on chess, but you have to wait until they're available."

Hanako nodded, and made her way along the shelves. There were around a dozen students in the reading room. Hanako kept moving, desperate to find a secluded place, and at the same time holding one of the books at the level of her face, trying to hide her scars.

She reached a shelf, with two beanbag seats placed before it. Looking around, she decided that it was a safe place to sit. She decided it would be best to keep the book as high as possible, to avoid eye contact with anyone. She found the place refreshing. The hush voices of the students were almost a distant memory, imaginary mosquitoes from a black and revolting world. The seat beneath her was more comfortable than the seats of the class, allowing her to sink in a state of sweet rest.

"Scuse me, can I take this seat?"

Hanako twitched, pressing the book even closer to her face. Moments later, three fingers gently pushed the book down, revealing a fairy familiar face. Hanako's eyes widened, by this invasion of privacy. She recognized her. It was the girl she had seen in the shower. The girl's dark blue eyes looked into Hanako's face carrying the most cheerful smile she had ever seen. The girl sat on the beanbag next to Hanako's, setting three books on the table in front of her.

"Sorry, it's just so hard to find the right place to read, don't you agree?"

Hanako looked bewildered. Was the girl actually trying to…be nice to her? She looked at her. Nothing strange about her. At least nothing external. But then again, why did she collapse in the shower.

The girl turned to her, extending her hand. Hanako accepted, holding out her undamaged arm. They shook hands, feeling like an eternity for Hanako.

"I'm Suzu, but you can call me Su if you want to."

"I…ve seen you before." Stated Hanako, still looking at the floor. "This morning."

"Huh? When did you…" inquired Suzu, immediately slapping her forehead. "Shoot, forgot about that. Sorry, hope it wasn't much of a shock."

"What happened?" asked Hanako, realizing that she may be asking a question that was far too inappropriate.

"Well, I do tend to dose off from time to time. Kinda like epilepsy, but without the spasms and foaming. I just fall asleep. Can happen anytime, anywhere."

"That must be really…strange."

"At least it's not painful. Okay, most of the time. It depends where I land when it hits. At one time, it happens when I was descending a ladder. Broke my leg."

Hanako decided not to press the issue further, and reached for her book. Suzu's eyes caught sight of the title.

"So you like chess?"

Hanako gave a shy nod. "Y…yes. Do you?"

"Not really. I'm more the bookworm type of girl. Due to my issue, my sleep program is all messed up. Books help me stay on track. Heck, they beat the pills."

Hanako looked at the books on the table. The cover of one of them struck her at once.

"Can I see it?"

"Oh, this one? Yeah, we're going to discuss it today at the literature club."

She handed the book to Hanako. The cover depicted a young blonde woman in a knight's armor. She was tied to a burning steak, her face looking to the heavens with a serene smile. Its title was _The life and deeds of Joan of Arc. _Hanako's fingers gripped the edges. The sensation of pain, even if imaginary, struck her skin. Her wide eyes were transfixed on the cover. The girl on it was burning. Just like she had burned.

Feeling nauseous, she set the book back on the table.

"Like it? I've always been fascinated by that girl. Not by how she died, but by how she lived. What she achieved and how she brought herself through all those trials."

Suzu seemed for a moment lost in her thoughts, a small blush lighting her cheeks.

"So Hanako, you like reading?"

"Yes." She replied, without realizing why she was even opening herself to this stranger.

"Then come to the literature club. We're having a meeting in two hours. You don't need to join, just come by and have a look."

Hanako felt unnerved. She had never been part of a club. At first because no one wanted to be around her, and then because she had decided it would be best to avoid such activities. _"T…that's enough! You wanted to come here!" _she mentally slapped herself._" Everyone's broken here, just like you. Go for it."_

"How…many people will be there?" she asked, almost ashamed of her question.

"Well, generally there's about ten of us. Two are from our class, but they don't come around very often. Why, got Agoraphobia or something?"

"What's that?" asked Hanako, fearing what answer she would get.

"Fear of crowded places and contact with people. If that's the case, please tell me."

Hanako's mind was pinned by this one word. _Agoraphobia_. A word she had heard for the first time. And that had changed so much in about a minute. _Is this what's wrong with me? I'm afraid of…people?_

Suzu's voice brought her back from the world of thoughts.

"So, you wanna come or what?"

Hanako nodded, her eyes now fixed on the fabric of her skirt.

**0000**

Suzu opened the door, and motioned to Hanako to enter. With small steps, Hanako approached the door, and peeked inside. The room was brightly lit by the afternoon sun. Several piles of books were found on the single table of the room. Four people were in the room. A boy, whom she had recognized from class, turned to her. He said nothing, just nodded. Hanako noticed a cane leaning next to his seat.

Suzu took Hanako by the hand, and walked her to the table. She placed her books down, and took out a notebook from her bag. Hanako looked around, and thanked to all the heavens that no one was asking her anything.

The door opened, and a woman, most likely in her late twenties, came in. She wore a knee-long brown skirt, and matching suit. Her medium-length hair was tied in a ponytail.

"That's Haruna." Whispered Suzu to Hanako. "She's in charge of the club. That and the homeroom teacher of class 3-2."

The teacher looked across the room, catching sight of Hanako. The girl gulped, wanting to be anywhere but not under her gaze.

"So, we have a new member? Good, good, the school can use more avid readers." She walked to the table, and measured Hanako from head to toe.

"So, why don't you start with your name." she said in a reasonable tone.

Hanako looked up, her eyes still bathed in fear.

"H…Hanako."

The word felt like it was ripped from her soul. The teacher nodded, scribbling her name on a piece of paper.

"Right. So…Hanako, why do you want to join the club?"

The girl tried to open her mouth, but no sound came. Why did she come here? There was no reason to do so, except but for the nagging of the girl next to her. Keeping her eyes glued on her lap, she whispered the only words she could.

"I don't know."

The teacher raised an eyebrow, before giving a cheerful smile.

"Well, then you should just stay here and listen. In the meantime, why don't you tell us what sort of literature you prefer?"

"I…I mean…I don't know. I just…like to read."

"So, you like reading for reading's sake. That's rather deep. Have you ever thought of the statement: since art begets art, literature begets…"

"…literature?" interrupted Suzu.

"Actually, I was going to say that it begets imagination and magic in the form of letters, but your answer is pretty good too." Laughed Haruna.

She backed up a few steps, and pointed to Suzu.

"Right. Last time we talked about the value of self sacrifice, and the overcoming of gender fear. Su, can you tell us, in your opinion, what did Joan of Arc accomplished?"

The bluenette scratched her head.

"Well, I guess she proved that death doesn't mean the end of life. By dying, she had the belief that her act would bring her nation to life."

"Interesting. And did she achieve that goal?"

The student with the patched ear raised his hand.

"Yes, Akio."

"Not really. The hundred year's war lasted 22 more years after she died."

"And does this invalidate her mission?"

Suzu raised her hand immediately.

"I'd have to say no. She did manage to drive the English from the main French cities."

"Yes, well, that's all fine and good. But you are aware that she died as a heretic. She was only acquitted in 1456. Until that time, her memory had been forever tarnished in the eyes of history."

Another of the students raised his hand.

"But why did people still believe in her divine visions then?"

"Good question." Sighed the teacher. "Maybe because…"

"She burned."

All eyes turned to Hanako. As always, her eyes seemed to stare into empty space. _"Where did that come from?" _she mentally slapped herself. She felt embarrassed for having drawn attention unto herself, and yet couldn't help it.

"Interesting comment, Hanako. Indeed, while death by burning was reserved for heretics in the Middle Ages, it was also a means of execution by which many 1st century martyrs perished."

"So, that means they saw in her fire something like a, what you call that, death for God?" asked Suzu.

"Very likely yes. You remember her last gesture, right?"

The boy with the cane raised his hand again.

"She wanted to have a crucifix leveled with her eyes."

Hanako felt her stomach churn. _God. _It was a word she had rarely used before. All she needed to do is look in the mirror to realize it was a word not mentioning. Yet now she was talking about a girl who burned for the sake of that one word.

She felt shivers up her spine. It was amazing in a way. The same type of fire that had killed her had taken her family and, in a way, her life. Guess when it comes down to it, fire had traversed time, but not God.

She felt her eyes getting wet, and she quickly whipped them with her sleeve, before Suzu or the teacher could notice anything. Haruna picked up several worksheets, and handed them to the students.

"Okay, here's what I want to do for our next meeting. You've got copies of our next book on the line, _why we broke up. _But before we talk about that one, I want each of you to write a page long essay, explaining why you feel like you have in common, or not in common with Joan of Arc."

She looked around the class, and clapped her hands.

"Okay, enjoy your afternoon."

As usual, Hanako preferred to wait until the class had emptied. Soon, it was only her and the teacher. She began to pack her things, when Haruna's voice put a hold on her actions.

"Hanako, I really enjoyed your way of thinking today."

The blush on Hanako's face only remained there for a moment. Compliments were something that she rarely received.

"Th…ank you."

"If you can, come by my class tomorrow. I've got something that you'll find interesting."

"About what?" asked Hanako, her voice echoing in the class?

"You won't find out unless you come, won't you?"

The conversation came to a halt. Hanako couldn't bring herself to talk more than she had. Time had told her that people can hide more than their voices could reveal.

She gave a polite bow, and left the room. Away from the afternoon light. Away from books and letters.

**0000**

Night caught Hanako in her room. She decided it was for the best to remain inside for the remainder of the day. Though the wooden door still blocked the sounds from outside, they couldn't hide the sounds from inside. Hanako's closed eyes were now a curtain. A curtain on which her mind projected whatever it wanted.

A brief picture of Joan flashed in her eyes. She wasn't burning. Her hair was flowing like a banner in the wind. Hand outstretched, Hanako's fingers touched the imaginary hand that was now reaching out to her.

She looked in her eyes. And any thoughts of fire vanished into drops of black ink.

**NOTE: **Suzu Suzuki's disability is called narcolepsy, a chronic sleep disorder, which can occur spontaneous, at any given moment. She had no role in the VN, and all we know about her is that she's part of the literature club.

PS: I intend to extend her relationship with Miki, into a one-shot shoujo-ai story. It should be done by the end of the week.


End file.
